Hey, Redditors. Looking for insight on this sticky situation. 

So I [26M] am a farmer and my brother [26M] works in the livestock industry. It’s not much but it’s the family business. Our boss is usually pretty providing but he sometimes sets unreasonable expectations. The only reason my family farms in the first place (we used to be pretty well off) is because my parents pissed our boss off and everything went to shit, but that’s a story for another time. 

Essentially at the end of the season we always have a little office party and we each give our boss a nice present. My brother got him this really nice shank of lamb, kind of pseudo-hipster, back to basics, farm to table type shit, wrapped in that brown waxy paper—you know what I’m talking about. Anyway the boss goes wild. He fucking loves it, he’s like “This is gonna be so succulent.” So then it’s my turn and I look like a fucking idiot cause all I got him was fruits of the soil. You know, like an edible arrangement. I cut all the fruit into little shapes. I had the damn skewers and everything. Like, I tried pretty hard. I wanted to impress the boss. Let’s just say it did not go over well. He said thanks but he didn’t seem like he meant it, and by the end of night when I went to upchuck, I saw it in the trashcan.

Anyway, next day at work all my boss could fucking say was how juicy that cut of lamb was, and how tender and succulent and delightful, whatever. If that man could have made sweet love to that fucking lamb shank… you get the picture. So like, I’m pissed. I worked so damn hard on that edible arrangement and all my brother did was kill a baby sheep. To make things worse, my brother was bragging all damn day.

So next day I’m sitting in my cubicle sorting my fucking bananas when my boss comes in, and he’s all like “I said thank you, you didn’t have to get so pissed. You’re a good guy, keep doing good, and you know I love you.” Then he picks up one of my ripest, plumpest, curviest bananas. He peels it open, takes one bite, then throws the rest away in my fucking recycling bin. 

So I page my brother on the company telecom, tell him to meet me outside, and smash his brains in with a bigass rock. I mean, what the hell else was I supposed to do? 

Anyway, Reddit, Am I The Asshole? Thanks guys. –CainGenesis48

—L. Santiago & L. Egger