Corey in da house,
butter on the bread,
I want to watch more Corey
But Corey’s fucking dead

This corn-on-cob is killing me
I weaken with each bite
Its bladed kernels slice my teeth
I must give up the fight
I should have heeded the advice
Of my four clever wives
When they all warned me not to make
A corncob out of knives

i wonder how people felt
when edgar allen poe said
that’s so raven
i wonder how people felt
when edgar allen poe
died
i wonder how people felt
when raven symone
tried to dig up the body of edgar allen poe
i wonder where raven symone is now

Women
They be driving Ubers
Vroom vroom
All over town
Hell yeah
I love it when women drive Ubers

Which T-shirt is the wettest?
Is it Hanes?
Is it H&M?
What do the judges say?
The judges say Hanes is the wettest t-shirt
Congratulations to Hanes
Annual Wet T-Shirt Contest Winner

gorilla glue my heart together
after chimp break it
they say “gorilla strongest animal in the jungle”
but it is not in body they are strongest
it is in heart

palms sweaty
knees weak
arms heavy
they call me mr. meat

—Staff

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