Thinly guillotine and serve on rye with thousand island dressing

Microwave for two minutes with the cup loosely covered

Prepare French-style (cooked by a rat with a dream)

Pulp into ice cream, serve with silver spoon

Stuff with shredded SAT prep books

Braise in holy wine and say grace before eating

Grind into Beyond Meat (The Impossible Billionaire)

Pickle for a week in an Amazon piss bottle

Have a thoughtful conversation about class struggle, then cook in giant air fryer

Kebab

—Staff