I for one am glad that Jeffrey Epstein is dead. You probably think I’m being a little harsh here. After all, this man was very generous—just look at all the money he donated to Harvard! But when we say all billionaires are bad, we mean all. Even Jeffrey Epstein.

Look at what he did: apparently, Epstein was flying Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, and some young girls around on a private plane called the Lolita Express? I can’t believe it either. Flying private? Ever heard of the caring about the planet?

Sure a lot of rich people have planes, but Jeffrey Epstein also had his very own private island. Really Mr. Epstein? Read the room. You were out in a tropical paradise, drinking fruity beverages and frolicking & whatnot with your personal sex slaves, meanwhile the rest of us here are still waiting on stimulus checks. Pretty tone-deaf if you ask me. Maybe next time take your babes to a Days Inn or something? You know, show a little solidarity with us small folk.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, I also saw a picture of Jeffrey Epstein talking to Donald Trump at a party. Really Mr. Epstein? Do better. This is the same Donald Trump that joked about grabbing women “by the pussy.” It’s not hard to draw conclusions that Epstein tolerated this kind of talk. Not cool, Jeffrey!

Anyway, I know he probably had a family and he did seem like a genuinely nice guy and everything, but at the end of the day that’s one less billionaire on earth. Sorry, but I sure won’t be crying. 

—H. Rubin