Ok guys, let’s talk personal finance. Today’s topic is what’s known as “Opportunity Cost,” the loss of the money you could be making from other alternatives when compared to what you chose to do. For example, if you could be making $4/hour selling lemonade, but instead choose to sell water for $3/hour, your opportunity cost would be the $1/hour you missed out on.

So what should you do? In your everyday life, always remember to feel guilty about what you decide to do, unless it’s the maximally efficient option in terms of generating income. Whether you’re sleeping instead of working, driving to work instead of working, or working instead of working for more money, be sure to mentally calculate how much money you’re technically losing. Even more importantly, let that number hang over you. If it doesn’t ruin your day, you’re doing it wrong.

It’s especially important to do this when you’re hanging out with your grandma. Let’s do the math. Say, for the sake of the hypothetical, that hanging out with your grandma generates $0/minute. Let’s also say, hypothetically, that the maximally efficient alternative is to spontaneously metamorphosize into Jeff Bezos and generate $152,207/minute. This means that the opportunity cost of hanging out with your dear old granny is $152,207/minute! You could buy a supercar, a small house, or even almost pay off your student loans with what you lose by hanging out with your grandmother for 60 seconds! Hell, you could pay for grandma’s medicine, allowing you not to hang out with her for many, many years to come.

And yet, despite all of this, you still choose to hang out with your grandma. Is her homemade apple pie really worth millions upon millions of dollars? You could donate that money to charity. You could save people’s lives with that money, but no. No, you just have to hang out with your grandma. That’s seriously messed up.

—B. Hollander-Bodie