Ms. “But call me Sarah” Evans
Animal Farm Just Isn’t Historically Accurate!
America’s education system is broken. And no, I’m not talking about the underfunding, the meager teacher’s salary, or the plague that is standardized testing. No, I’m referring to an extraordinarily entrenched flaw within our schools’ middle school English curriculum—Animal Farm.
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a fantastic piece of writing. Hats off to George Orwell, who wrote a whole novel. I can hardly fill a page! But when Sarah said that it was a satire about the Soviet threat, I almost had to drink my Dasani just to cool down. I know satire. I live, breathe, and write satire. But arguing that Animal Farm is a historically accurate novel depicting the Cold War? That’s the real war crime.
Animals. Can’t. Talk. I’m sorry, but we need to make this clear. There is nothing historical about a talking pig, and frankly, I find it concerning that the people educating our children believe otherwise, going as far as to spend two weeks talking make-believe about cattle and poultry. I mean, what’s next? The Lorax is about environmentalism? I thought we were supposed to be examining big ideas here!
Sure, there are striking similarities between Napoleon’s aggressive dog force and Stalin’s Bolsheviks, and yes, Snowball fully echoes Leon Trotsky’s displeasure and unrest with Stalin’s rule, but that’s coincidence! I mean come on guys, use your brains. How can a pig be a person? They’re two different species! It’s medically impossible, and it is a disgrace to fiction writing to even consider it!
I don’t understand why it’s only me and a select group of Reddit users that share this same view. I argue for a complete wiping of this book from existence, like they did in Fahrenheit 451. Now that is a book I can get behind!
—M. Kuo and A. Mao